Saturday, September 29, 2012

On contracts

This much I knew already:

1. Slavery is against the law so a slave contract is not binding under the law.
2. The slave can walk away at any time, and in many cases, SHOULD walk away.
3. If you feel that you can't walk away then you are being held against your will.
4. It is not a lot of fun forcing someone to be with you when they don't desire you
5. Most women want to be the object of desire
6. Nobody wants to be tied to someone who does not desire them. This is true for everyone. You might not care why you are desired just as long as you are.
7. Nobody knows the future. There is no guarantee that your feelings will remain the same forever. Human nature, being what it is almost guarantees that your feelings will change.

On one of the forums I frequent, there is some discussion about using slave or sub contracts in your relationship. I don't use contracts. I have no need to put things in writing. I know that even if I knew what I wanted, there is no guarantee that what I want now is what I will want next month.

I also strongly believe that my wedding vows are sufficient when two people are in love, and when they have committed to each other.

So, what kind of promises did I make to my husband and my sub? I promised to always be their friend. I promised to help and support them, to treat them with respect and decency, to love them as best I can, to rejoice with them, to grieve with them. I did not promise anything that I could not keep to. Everything else is fluid and depends on circumstances. I think that is as it should be. There is an important element of trust that is essential. Here is an article about slave contracts that I find informative.

I recommend that if your submissive partner starts talking about wanting a contract (because he read about such things on the internet) that both of you read this article, and at least take the time to think about whether or not you need one or really want one, and how you should structure one if you decide that a contract would work for you.

http://www.downonmyknees.com/archives/rules_rituals/contracts_arent_forever.php
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2 comments:

  1. A very good article (though I disagree with the pessimistic view of marriage itself)! Reading some of the discussions on Fetlife, I wonder whether some people have trouble distinguishing between the fantasy of transition, and a genuine attempt to make a transition.

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  2. I seriously doubt that any couples who do have the rules of their relationship codified in writing would disagree with any of the points you enumerated. I think that they view a "contract" is just another "fun" means of expressing mutual commitment.

    In a way, the discussion relates to "financial domination". There's no harm at all with a domme putting her slave on an allowance, or being in charge of the finances, or even ordering him to have his employer deposit his salary directly into her checking account. These things, like "slave contracts" can be undone by the man if need be.

    The real danger would be if a man allowed his wife to put their life savings under her sole control, or put their home in her name exclusively. Any man who would agree to that, would essentially be signing a REAL slave contract, and may eventually rue the day he did.

    Best,

    Jake

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