Sex in the 55 to 65 demographic

I admit it. I am in that demographic. This is when, actually, I started to really come into my own sexually and recognizing my dominance after I had my hysterectomy and was suddenly free from birth control. Since then, I have been exploring the Femdom blogosphere, and have met many, many intelligent, articulate and wonderful people who have helped me in my journey to realizing my power in my relationships. But all this happened after age 45. (I also have discovered a definite appreciation of the mature male form!)


Today I found this article on high50.com, which is the results of a survey they have taken on sexual lives of people in my demographic!

These findings reassure me. My instincts are still good. I am not alone in this.

• Some of you are in the process of discovering more about your sexuality.
• The more important sex is to people, the greater their level of satisfaction in their relationships.
•  Your narratives show that if you can discuss your sexual needs with your partner, you can overcome pretty much anything that life throws at you.
• Though some may assume that lack of sexual novelty is problematic in a long-term relationship, many of you are thriving on a combination of familiarity and creativity.
• Clearly, the more couples invest in their sexual relationship, the more they get out of it.
• Almost two-thirds say going on holiday improves your sex life

So, friends, it seems that it's true that the more you pay attention to your sexual life in your relationship, the better you'll find it and the more satisfied you will be in your life. I thought so!

Pegging

I was doing some research on pegging, since I am gradually introducing subby hubby to anal play. He is kind of squeamish, but I want to nudge him along. I found this article about pegging for beginners. I wonder if anyone has an opinion about the quality of this information.

http://www.filamentmagazine.com/2011/05/a-beginners-guide-to-pegging/

My eye is on the prize

In two weeks our youngest child goes back to college. Middle son just got a promotion at work, so he can still afford his apartment. Oldest daughter just took a new job on the other coast.

In two weeks my husband and I will experience our first ever empty nest! If nothing happens to wreck it for us (Please don't get fired, kids!) we will finally achieve our first goal of the home stretch...all kids grown and gone! We aren't going to know how to act! Sex in the living room! Naked cooking! Sole possession of the remote! Our own money! Quiet! No rap music!

We will also have the chance to start experimenting and implementing some of the things we have been discussing lately. We have always been kind of reticent about sharing some of our kinky fantasies, even though we both know that we are open to trying most anything. It's strange, isn't it, that it is often harder to share your most intimate feelings and fantasies with the person you are closest to, than with a stranger? Well, we have lately, in anticipation of being on our own in our home, been sharing long-held desires with each other and making plans to carry them out.

For my part, I am anxious to start a concious and consistent regimen of husband-centered chastity, tease and denial. Our previous efforts have been pretty haphazard. But now we are going to be more purposeful. For instance, I am going to be in charge of the viagara pills, and use them as a reward. And I also plan to begin daily teasing and denial. I am also going to perfect my edging skills with practice and feedback. Of course, hubby will be getting a lot of practice honing his cunnilingual skills...though he's already an artiste!

Here's to keeping our eyes on the prize!

How do you know?

I was visiting my favorite forum today (At Her Feet) and one of the topics really got me to thinking. The poster was saying that he and his wife have never met any other couples in a Female Led Relationship, even among all the kinksters they have met.

I submit that an FLR is something many, if not most couples keep under wraps, since it is outside the traditional stated norms in our society. Therefore, it would be hard to spot under normal circumstances.

I also believe that it is more common than we would think, because of that reason, and also because many relationships are female-led, but the couple does not think in those terms, since they are basically vanilla. Any marriage/relationship in which the husband defers to the wife, in which she makes the decisions, in which her desires guide their lives together, in which she controls the what, when, where and how of their sex life and myriad other things, is a FLR.

I see it all around me, now that I know enough to look for it.

In my own marriage, I never knew. I knew that I made most of the big decisions, I controlled our social and sex life, my desires and satisfaction always takes priority and that my husband actively looks for ways to please me. I thought these were completely natural. I knew that I do not like to be bossed around, especially by my husband. I know that I demand that I be respected, spoken to respectfully and politely, and that I must be asked, rather than told. Again, I find these things completely natural. That is how I was raised, and my parents and grandparents were good role models for this.

So how does a couple know if they are in a Female-Led Relationship? Tell me your ideas, please. Let's get a dialogue going.