Our duty is to hold our men accountable.

“A man who is accountable to no one is a danger to himself,”—Ilyana VanZant

I would add, “…and to others.” She was talking about Chad Johnson (formerly Ochocinco) who has had too much money, too much freedom, too many women and nobody to tell him, “Enough!” He has, as a result, wasted his opportunities and hurt the people who love him.

Men need someone to hold them accountable, be it an employer, a wife, a parent, a family, or God. We should be teaching our sons to be accountable to someone else, to understand that life is not all about what they want, that they have a responsibility as men. They also need someone to consciously hold them accountable.  When a man marries, his wife should hold him accountable for his actions, thoughts and deeds.

One year anniversary of our FLR.

Today marks one year since my treasure gave me the gift of the ownership of his collar. It has been a wonderful year of learning and discovering, and loving. We didn't do anything special to celebrate, but we did make a toast to a hopeful future.  It is wonderful to have a friend that loves me and thinksbthat serving me is all he needs to be happy. I am cognizant that I am indeed the most fortunate of women to have found such a friend. I love my old man. I treasure how we are together. 

How do you know?

I was visiting my favorite forum today (At Her Feet) and one of the topics really got me to thinking. The poster was saying that he and his wife have never met any other couples in a Female Led Relationship, even among all the kinksters they have met.

I submit that an FLR is something many, if not most couples keep under wraps, since it is outside the traditional stated norms in our society. Therefore, it would be hard to spot under normal circumstances.

I also believe that it is more common than we would think, because of that reason, and also because many relationships are female-led, but the couple does not think in those terms, since they are basically vanilla. Any marriage/relationship in which the husband defers to the wife, in which she makes the decisions, in which her desires guide their lives together, in which she controls the what, when, where and how of their sex life and myriad other things, is a FLR.

I see it all around me, now that I know enough to look for it.

In my own marriage, I never knew. I knew that I made most of the big decisions, I controlled our social and sex life, my desires and satisfaction always takes priority and that my husband actively looks for ways to please me. I thought these were completely natural. I knew that I do not like to be bossed around, especially by my husband. I know that I demand that I be respected, spoken to respectfully and politely, and that I must be asked, rather than told. Again, I find these things completely natural. That is how I was raised, and my parents and grandparents were good role models for this.

So how does a couple know if they are in a Female-Led Relationship? Tell me your ideas, please. Let's get a dialogue going.