At my husband's company holiday party the other night, I was introduced to my husband's secretary (or as she calls it, "administrative assistant") who is a nice, nerdy girl. I was also introduced to her boyfriend, a stunningly handsome man who obviously works out. He was carrying two plates of food. When he approached, she, in the middle of a conversation with another woman, didn't even look at him, but pointed firmly to a nearby chair. He sat. She continued her conversation while he cut up the food on one of the plares, and then held it out until she noticed it and took it. She was still talking and laughing, until she noticed the waiter bringing two glasses of wine. "Why is HE bringing drinks?" she asked, laughing. The boyfriend smiled gently and said, "He saw me trying to carry it all and offered to help." She said thank you to the waiter, and began to eat while explaining to all of us why some departments at work need to update their event calendars. Boyfriend quietly ate his food while listening to her. He could not take his eyes off her. He was smiling.
My husband, who is too gregarious for his own good, said on the way home, "I think Lori's boyfriend was bored." I smiled there in the darkness. "I think he enjoyed himself. I wouldn't worry about him."
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
Submission is not a feminine trait
It really irritates me when someone, anyone, refers to my submissive friend, or someone else's submissive male partner as "girly" or "sissy" or "the woman" in the relationship. And it is even more insulting when the man is obviously not effeminate.
Why is submissiveness assumed to be a feminine trait? I think it is just that men wish women were inherently submissive. Men have been trained to think that women are attractive only if they are submissive and conformist. (Men still say that they are fascinated with Asian women because they are supposed to be little dolls that are submissive. If they ever actually met any women of Asian descent, they would be shocked!) But some women, like myself, are attractive, definitely NOT submissive, and not very conformist.
That leads me to another general complaint. Why do sooooooooo many people assume that all dominant women prefer their submissive men to be womanly? I bet the real story is that a majority of heterosexual dominant women prefer their men to be manly. I do not find sissies attractive. To me it is a a kind of affliction or affectation that you just accept about a person and try to ignore as much as possible, like a missing limb or something. You just try to not stare and deal with the person respectfully despite their disability.
As a dominant heterosexual woman, I don't understand why I would be expected to be sexually attracted to a man who is emulating his idea of what a woman is. And I suspect that women who like to sissify their men are in reality bisexual or gay. I have no idea what the men in these situations are thinking. Perhaps they will tell me.
My Treasure says that wearing women's clothes holds absolutely no interest for him. He would obey if I wanted it, but only in the same way that I would allow foot worship: It does not a thing for me, but I tolerate it because I am a cooperative person, and if it isn't inconvenient and doesn't annoy me, why not?
My Treasure is a manly man, however, and I appreciate that so much. I enjoy being a girl. I enjoy being the ONLY girl in my relationship. And he is one of the millions of men who find a dominant woman attractive. Thank God for these men.
Why is submissiveness assumed to be a feminine trait? I think it is just that men wish women were inherently submissive. Men have been trained to think that women are attractive only if they are submissive and conformist. (Men still say that they are fascinated with Asian women because they are supposed to be little dolls that are submissive. If they ever actually met any women of Asian descent, they would be shocked!) But some women, like myself, are attractive, definitely NOT submissive, and not very conformist.
That leads me to another general complaint. Why do sooooooooo many people assume that all dominant women prefer their submissive men to be womanly? I bet the real story is that a majority of heterosexual dominant women prefer their men to be manly. I do not find sissies attractive. To me it is a a kind of affliction or affectation that you just accept about a person and try to ignore as much as possible, like a missing limb or something. You just try to not stare and deal with the person respectfully despite their disability.
As a dominant heterosexual woman, I don't understand why I would be expected to be sexually attracted to a man who is emulating his idea of what a woman is. And I suspect that women who like to sissify their men are in reality bisexual or gay. I have no idea what the men in these situations are thinking. Perhaps they will tell me.
My Treasure says that wearing women's clothes holds absolutely no interest for him. He would obey if I wanted it, but only in the same way that I would allow foot worship: It does not a thing for me, but I tolerate it because I am a cooperative person, and if it isn't inconvenient and doesn't annoy me, why not?
My Treasure is a manly man, however, and I appreciate that so much. I enjoy being a girl. I enjoy being the ONLY girl in my relationship. And he is one of the millions of men who find a dominant woman attractive. Thank God for these men.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Sex in the 55 to 65 demographic
I admit it. I am in that demographic. This is when, actually, I started to really come into my own sexually and recognizing my dominance after I had my hysterectomy and was suddenly free from birth control. Since then, I have been exploring the Femdom blogosphere, and have met many, many intelligent, articulate and wonderful people who have helped me in my journey to realizing my power in my relationships. But all this happened after age 45. (I also have discovered a definite appreciation of the mature male form!)Today I found this article on high50.com, which is the results of a survey they have taken on sexual lives of people in my demographic!
These findings reassure me. My instincts are still good. I am not alone in this.
- Some of you are in the process of discovering more about your sexuality.
- The more important sex is to people, the greater their level of satisfaction in their relationships.
- Your narratives show that if you can discuss your sexual needs with your partner, you can overcome pretty much anything that life throws at you.
- Though some may assume that lack of sexual novelty is problematic in a long-term relationship, many of you are thriving on a combination of familiarity and creativity.
- Clearly, the more couples invest in their sexual relationship, the more they get out of it.
- Almost two-thirds say going on holiday improves your sex life
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Humanizing Desire
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| English: A man handcuffed to a bed and blindfolded (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
http://lipstickandligature.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/humanizing-desire/
Points made that hit the mark solidly:
"... women do lust after men, after submissive men, but in a completely different way to what “mainstream” BDSM imagery would have wider culture believe. Common themes seem to centre around vulnerability and the contrast between masculine strength and submission."
"Many male submissives are being damaged by the thoughts that no women want them with their “weird” sexuality and that submission is profoundly unsexy to women. It’s all LIES, I tell you, LIES!"
"In porn, the only time we see dominant women act upon their sexual desire is with some scarily well endowed other man while the submissive cowers in a corner somewhere. You know the attitude: God forbid, his pathetic body dare arouse the desire of a woman." (Exactly why cuckolding disgusts me.)
"Dominant women want to be with and want, need, desire, crave and adore men who also happen to be submissive. Men who are humans first and submissive men second. That is the dynamic that most of us find sexually and romantically attractive."
So yes, submissive, sensitive, vulnerable men who open up and show us their real selves are very attractive...nay, HOT. Read the post. Good stuff there.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
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