First of all, kudos to the scientists who are actually studying our kinky little ways, instead of dismissing them out of hand as perversions and mental disorders. In research presented last week at the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology in Austin, Texas they concluded that:
Consensual sadomasochism was long considered pathological, but psychologists studying people interested in BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) have failed to find evidence that these sexual practices are harmful. One study, published in May 2013, actually found that practitioners of BDSM were better off than the general population in some ways, including having secure relationships and lower anxiety.This is something that many of us already knew, and I think it may follow that those in Female Led Relationships may tend to have secure and satisfactory relationships and lower anxiety as well. I know that my anxiety is less than it used to be. I think part of the reason is that I understand the submissive man's viewpoint at lot better than I used to. And because I understand more, I respect more.
The scientists say that sadomasochism can result in a meditative or altered cognitive states for both the submissive and the dominant. (I think this is called "subspace" and "domspace".)
You can read the article here:
http://www.livescience.com/43502-sadomasochism-mind-alteration.html
Something else that I have been thinking about lately, is that feeling a dominant sadist gets of guilt for enjoying hurting someone you love, even though your submissive masochist has consented and actually desires being bound and disciplined. That is a whole other post, I guess.
(Image from my Tumblr, reposted from various other Tumblrs on the internet. If you own this image, and want it removed, then just send me a private message and I will delete it immediately.)
MsNaydi,
ReplyDeleteI can confirm your thoughts that echo the study's conclusion. I have never felt more loved or more at ease (comfortable) with a woman than I do being married to my dominant wife. We communicate on a level I could have only dreamed. No topic seems to be off limits. We love one another deeply. I would have believed as the study authors probably did looking in from the outside vanilla world but how wrong they are. So many have found peace by submitting a conversely leading. Enjoyed your thoughts! Thank you
For a long time, those of us who are not so kinky have not understood the attraction to kink for some people. I have made a concerted effort to learn and understand, and I am glad scientists have done the same (only in their more scientific way) and realize that if people are happy, then there is nothing wrong with it. And I think it is wonderful that young people are discovering early on, so they can have many years of fulfilling relationships, unlike my generation.
ReplyDeleteBDSM requires a great deal of communication and trust and intimacy...the same things that good vanilla relationships need, but which are all too rare.
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