Saturday, September 29, 2012

On contracts

This much I knew already:

1. Slavery is against the law so a slave contract is not binding under the law.
2. The slave can walk away at any time, and in many cases, SHOULD walk away.
3. If you feel that you can't walk away then you are being held against your will.
4. It is not a lot of fun forcing someone to be with you when they don't desire you
5. Most women want to be the object of desire
6. Nobody wants to be tied to someone who does not desire them. This is true for everyone. You might not care why you are desired just as long as you are.
7. Nobody knows the future. There is no guarantee that your feelings will remain the same forever. Human nature, being what it is almost guarantees that your feelings will change.

On one of the forums I frequent, there is some discussion about using slave or sub contracts in your relationship. I don't use contracts. I have no need to put things in writing. I know that even if I knew what I wanted, there is no guarantee that what I want now is what I will want next month.

I also strongly believe that my wedding vows are sufficient when two people are in love, and when they have committed to each other.

So, what kind of promises did I make to my husband and my sub? I promised to always be their friend. I promised to help and support them, to treat them with respect and decency, to love them as best I can, to rejoice with them, to grieve with them. I did not promise anything that I could not keep to. Everything else is fluid and depends on circumstances. I think that is as it should be. There is an important element of trust that is essential. Here is an article about slave contracts that I find informative.

I recommend that if your submissive partner starts talking about wanting a contract (because he read about such things on the internet) that both of you read this article, and at least take the time to think about whether or not you need one or really want one, and how you should structure one if you decide that a contract would work for you.
Enhanced by Zemanta

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


I was doing some research on pegging, since I am gradually introducing subby hubby to anal play. He is kind of squeamish, but I want to nudge him along. I found this article about pegging for beginners. I wonder if anyone has an opinion about the quality of this information.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Our duty is to hold our men accountable.

“A man who is accountable to no one is a danger to himself,”—Ilyana VanZant

I would add, “…and to others.” She was talking about Chad Johnson (formerly Ochocinco) who has had too much money, too much freedom, too many women and nobody to tell him, “Enough!” He has, as a result, wasted his opportunities and hurt the people who love him.

Men need someone to hold them accountable, be it an employer, a wife, a parent, a family, or God. We should be teaching our sons to be accountable to someone else, to understand that life is not all about what they want, that they have a responsibility as men. They also need someone to consciously hold them accountable.  When a man marries, his wife should hold him accountable for his actions, thoughts and deeds.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Susan Gower, sex therapist and relationship advisor? Seriously?

Ok, I call "Bullshit."

Once upon a time there was this random woman who wrote an article justifying the cuckhold lifestyle. She wrote an article that claims to be the result of "science." Her premise is that women are hard-wired to spread it around, while men should naturally be kept to one woman. Not only is this riduculous assertion served up with absolutely no evidence or proof whatsover, it flies in the face of actual scientific evidence based on research done by actual social scientists.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I Don't Want to be Your Fantasy

Second Life, Woman, Pink
Second Life, Woman, Pink (Photo credit: yukali)
I was in Second Life, dancing, socializing, chatting and flirting, like I always do in Second Life, and got a private message from a man I did not know. (I hate that, but men insist on private messaging women they don't know. I guess this is their chance to say stupid shit with only minimal embarrassment.) He said that I was so hot (my avatar, he means) that he was masturbating while watching me dance. He added that I was his fantasy domme. Then he offered himself to me.

Monday, September 3, 2012

One year anniversary of our FLR.

Today marks one year since my treasure gave me the gift of the ownership of his collar. It has been a wonderful year of learning and discovering, and loving. We didn't do anything special to celebrate, but we did make a toast to a hopeful future.  It is wonderful to have a friend that loves me and thinksbthat serving me is all he needs to be happy. I am cognizant that I am indeed the most fortunate of women to have found such a friend. I love my old man. I treasure how we are together.