I Don't Want to be Your Fantasy

Second Life, Woman, Pink (Photo credit: yukali)

I was in Second Life, dancing, socializing, chatting and flirting, like I always do in Second Life, and got a private message from a man I did not know. (I hate that, but men insist on private messaging women they don't know. I guess this is their chance to say stupid shit with only minimal embarrassment.) He said that I was so hot (my avatar, he means) that he was masturbating while watching me dance. He added that I was his fantasy domme. Then he offered himself to me.



Now, I reacted as might be expected, to this offensive exchange. There are many reasons this is offensive and NOT a compliment, as this man seemed to think. I suppose some women might want to be some guy's fantasy and provide him with wanking fodder against their will. But I am not among them. I blocked him.

It has always been my practice in Second Life and in Real Life to make friends with people before talking about intimate subjects and before forming sexual relationships. Getting to know a person gives me a modicum of control over my own safety, and my enjoyment of my life, whether real or Second. I find it incredible that he was masturbating over me (I relate closely to my avatar) and had the audacity to tell me about it, thinking I might be flattered.

There are several reasons why I don't want to be your Fantasy Domme:
1. You are not a friend of mine, so I don't have any interest in your needs or desires.
2. I am a real woman, not just an avatar. So chances are high that I am NOT your fantasy.
3. Love is not that easy. You have to give something in order to get something back. For a professional dominatrix, that might be cash. But for a real relationship, that has to be more.
4. Your fantasy life can ruin your real life. Real life will always disappoint you.
5. I don't know what you think you know about me, but I bet you're wrong.
6. Fantasy is addictive. You will find it easier to hold on to the fantasy than deal with a real person in front of you.
7. Telling me that I am your fantasy infringes on my personal space. It implies that I have some sort of responsibility to you, perhaps to refrain from destroying it for you.

And finally, your fantasy is probably not my fantasy. So keep it to yourself until I give you permission to tell me. The picture that you left in my head of you doing icky things over my avatar is not going away...ewwww.