Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I Don't Want to be Your Fantasy

Second Life, Woman, Pink
Second Life, Woman, Pink (Photo credit: yukali)
I was in Second Life, dancing, socializing, chatting and flirting, like I always do in Second Life, and got a private message from a man I did not know. (I hate that, but men insist on private messaging women they don't know. I guess this is their chance to say stupid shit with only minimal embarrassment.) He said that I was so hot (my avatar, he means) that he was masturbating while watching me dance. He added that I was his fantasy domme. Then he offered himself to me.

Now, I reacted as might be expected, to this offensive exchange. There are many reasons this is offensive and NOT a compliment, as this man seemed to think. I suppose some women might want to be some guy's fantasy and provide him with wanking fodder against their will. But I am not among them. I blocked him.

It has always been my practice in Second Life and in Real Life to make friends with people before talking about intimate subjects and before forming sexual relationships. Getting to know a person gives me a modicum of control over my own safety, and my enjoyment of my life, whether real or Second. I find it incredible that he was masturbating over me (I relate closely to my avatar) and had the audacity to tell me about it, thinking I might be flattered.

There are several reasons why I don't want to be your Fantasy Domme:
1. You are not a friend of mine, so I don't have any interest in your needs or desires.
2. I am a real woman, not just an avatar. So chances are high that I am NOT your fantasy.
3. Love is not that easy. You have to give something in order to get something back. For a professional dominatrix, that might be cash. But for a real relationship, that has to be more.
4. Your fantasy life can ruin your real life. Real life will always disappoint you.
5. I don't know what you think you know about me, but I bet you're wrong.
6. Fantasy is addictive. You will find it easier to hold on to the fantasy than deal with a real person in front of you.
7. Telling me that I am your fantasy infringes on my personal space. It implies that I have some sort of responsibility to you, perhaps to refrain from destroying it for you.

And finally, your fantasy is probably not my fantasy. So keep it to yourself until I give you permission to tell me. The picture that you left in my head of you doing icky things over my avatar is not going away...ewwww.

Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. Your words ring so true, I wonder how many people's lives have been made hollow by the fact that there real life never measures up to the fantasy.

  2. "Your fantasy life can ruin your real life"

    I touched on this over at AHF.

    The replies I got told me that the guys I was hearing from did not understand what I was saying. "If my fantasies fuel my energy to serve, I'm all for it!"

    Well your fantasies may fuel things for a while but eventually reality will kick in and you will find out that the fantasy you are serving is not the woman you live with, and you may find out that she is not all that excited about being your 'plastic fantasic fantasy lover' after all.

    I enjoy being a guy. I really do! But some of the things my brothers say and do make me blush to be related...

    Surrendered hubby

  3. MsNaydi,

    I finally put two and two together and realized this is your blog! I just added you to my blog list today on my site!

    I love what you have to say here. I'm familiar with Second Life only because my oldest daughter was on there for a few years. She was fortunate to meet a real, authentic man on the game and he moved here in June to be with her. They are doing well, but probably in the minority of those who do. It does seem most would rather live in the fantasy. And that is always the danger with D/s as least when it comes to finding a true partner.

    Congratulations on your one year anniversary and many more to come!

    ~ Vista

  4. Thank you, friends for sharing your comments. Vista, I enjoy your blog very much, as well! And I can say that I met my treasure on Second Life, and he is the most awesome man, EVAH!


Thanks for your comment. It'll be published after it has been reviewed.