Saturday, December 15, 2012


At my husband's company holiday party the other night, I was introduced to my husband's secretary (or as she calls it, "administrative assistant") who is a nice, nerdy girl. I was also introduced to her boyfriend, a stunningly handsome man who obviously works out. He was carrying two plates of food. When he approached, she, in the middle of a conversation with another woman, didn't even look at him, but pointed firmly to a nearby chair. He sat. She continued her conversation while he cut up the food on one of the plares, and then held it out until she noticed it and took it. She was still talking and laughing, until she noticed the waiter bringing two glasses of wine. "Why is HE bringing drinks?"  she asked, laughing. The boyfriend smiled gently and said, "He saw me trying to carry it all and offered to help." She said thank you to the waiter, and began to eat while explaining to all of us why some departments at work need to update their event calendars. Boyfriend quietly ate his food while listening to her. He could not take his eyes off her. He was smiling.

My husband, who is too gregarious for his own good, said on the way home, "I think Lori's boyfriend was bored." I smiled there in the darkness. "I think he enjoyed himself. I wouldn't worry about him."

Friday, December 14, 2012

Submission is not a feminine trait

It really irritates me when someone, anyone, refers to my submissive friend, or someone else's submissive male partner as "girly" or "sissy" or "the woman" in the relationship. And it is even more insulting when the man is obviously not effeminate.

Why is submissiveness assumed to be a feminine trait? I think it is just that men wish women were inherently submissive. Men have been trained to think that women are attractive only if they are submissive and conformist. (Men still say that they are fascinated with Asian women because they are supposed to be little dolls that are submissive. If they ever actually met any women of Asian descent, they would be shocked!) But some women, like myself, are attractive, definitely NOT submissive, and not very conformist.

That leads me to another general complaint. Why do sooooooooo many people assume that all dominant women prefer their submissive men to be womanly? I bet the real story is that a majority of heterosexual dominant women prefer their men to be manly. I do not find sissies attractive. To me it is a a kind of affliction or affectation that you just accept about a person and try to ignore as much as possible, like a missing limb or something. You just try to not stare and deal with the person respectfully despite their disability.

As a dominant heterosexual woman, I don't understand why I would be expected to be sexually attracted to a man who is emulating his idea of what a woman is. And I suspect that women who like to sissify their men are in reality bisexual or gay. I have no idea what the men in these situations are thinking. Perhaps they will tell me.

My Treasure says that wearing women's clothes holds absolutely no interest for him. He would obey if I wanted it, but only in the same way that I would allow foot worship: It does not a thing for me, but I tolerate it because I am a cooperative person, and if it isn't inconvenient and doesn't annoy me, why not?

My Treasure is a manly man, however, and I appreciate that so much. I enjoy being a girl. I enjoy being the ONLY girl in my relationship. And he is one of the millions of men who find a dominant woman attractive. Thank God for these men.