Giles English, over at How Do I Get My Partner to Dominate Me wrote a few months ago about women not wanting to admit to enjoying femdom. How does this guy know so much about women, especially vanilla women? Anyway, it is a good blog post to read. In it, Giles puts his finger exactly on the one thing I have the most trouble with: Nice girls don't hurt, maim, humiliate, tease, hit, use, or otherwise be mean to the people they love (or anyone else.)
It is necessary to learn these lessons, or none of us would be able to survive in a civilized society (if you can call what we have, civilized)...well, a community anyway. So this is ingrained in us. How do we get over feeling guilty for being able to be mean to our submissive partner. His submission means he has given us permission to do so...but we still worry about hurting him, physically or emotionally. And being seen as a mean person. Or an abusive person. Or a bully.
My treasure likes me to be more aggressive with him, but all I want to do is clutch him to my bosom and love him up. Except when he pisses me off. Then I want to kick him. But nice girls don't kick. Do they?
What do you think about this, and how can I change this gut feeling, that I am hurting him when I do what he has given me permission to do?