Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Out of My Control

My relationship with my dearest Felix seems to have gone out of control. It's an online relationship, which makes that harder to take.

He suffers from depression. I knew that. But I felt that I was able to bring a little joy to his life. I really did. But he has, over the last week been in touch with me only obliquely...he likes my posts on Facebook, he takes his turn at Words With Friends. But no talking. No chat. No phone calls. Not even to say hello.  He knows he is to make contact at least once per day, but liking a post on Facebook does not count, in my opinion. Everyone does that.

So this morning he tells me he has withdrawn from the world (I guess that includes me) and has found it difficult if not impossible to deal with any tasks and even to get started doing anything. I am at a loss for how to deal with this situation. I want him to interact with me. I miss him so much. But I don't want to make his life more miserable or overwhelm him. He won't even share what he needs. Does he even need anything from me? Another thing we promised when we started this relationship, was that we would communicate our feelings. He either can't or won't now.

I don't know. It is all so depressing. For both of us.


  1. Is Felix your husband? If not, what does your husband think of this online relationship? Have you ever met Felix? Sorry, I hadn't picked this up before.

    Whatever the case, I hope he can shake off his blues.


  2. sherulestherooster,

    Felix is my loving and beloved friend. Felix and I have never met face to face and have no plans to meet in person. That would change our relationship in ways we don't want it to. My husband knows that I have an online best friend that I am partnered with in Second Life. He knows that I am the kind of woman that has men as best friends (I just have no patience for most women.) and he knows that Felix is mine. It is a fact that the trust we have built over the last 30 years of marriage means that we don't have need for jealousy.

    Thanks for asking...and thanks for showing me that someone hears me.

  3. MsNaydi,

    At times people do withdraw and despite our best efforts and intentions its not possible to bring them back to the norm, I hope thats not the case with you and Felix.

    At the same time, I believe, he may need some time to recoup and however the irony with the phrase "some time" is that there is no predictability or certainty that when its going to be over, and you both will be back to normal.

    I have been there, done that... seen it.. its sad, and torturing, and time feels stalled and still, but we have to endure it, no choice.

  4. I have been in his spot before and you have nothing wrong MsNaydi. I had a hard time just getting out of bed. I don't know if he drinks, but that had a lot to do with my issue. My Master, who is long distance, was upset with me as she didn't understand where I was at. I had quit my job and literally had no feeling of accomplishment. I eventually just got out of it literally by forcing myself out of the door. Got back to work and eased up on the drinking.

    BTW, I find it really hot that you have this type of relationship. I would love for my Master to find another guy online that will submit to her.

  5. He has been sober for many years, now, but that addictive personality might have something to do with his depression. You give me something to think about and explore.

    If I had the time, I would find another submissive online to play with. It does require time and attention. You're right, it is kind of hot. :)

  6. I've been going through something like that lately with a someone- it's both frustrating and hurtful feeling, but I get through it by remembering that it's a real illness.

    The hard part is because it's such a tricky subject, it makes dominance hard to intrude with- the boss in me wants to organize getting him off to doctors and otherwise dealing with it, but there are somethings not really covered by our dynamic. Add a little matter of an ocean and it's also frightening- if something happens it's hard to keep up with stuff.

    And it makes him frustrated, and wound up with self hate and non-communicative, so the conversations get one sided or grim. Which causes arguments.

    So it's the stuff of faith and patience. i hate that there's nothing else I can do, but this is what I have to do if I want to keep a relationship with him.


Thanks for your comment. It'll be published after it has been reviewed.