I used to not be able to relate to a D/s life view at all. I felt sorry for submissive people (especially submissive women) and always said that they should just suck it up and take charge of their lives! Dammit! I thought of these people as kind of freeloaders in life...not taking charge of themselves, not taking charge of their sexual satisfaction. Then I met my online friend in Second Life.
Teddie approached me. He offered his assistance to me, when I really wasn't in need of it. After all, I am an independent strong woman. What did I need a man for? But he insisted on helping me, and the more I rejected his help, the closer he stuck to me. Eventually, it dawned on me that having a helpful man about might be useful. And plus, I was feeling kind of lonely in SL. I was ready for a new friend.
Teddie revealed to me, after we became close..very close...friends, that he was submissive man. His fantasy has always been that he was responsible for keeping several women sexually satisfied and happy, and that he was able to do it! All the women would have whatever their hearts desired, and he would make sure they had it. What he wanted from me was to share my fantasy with him, and he would make it happen, and that would be the be-all and end-all of his second life. In real life, he had an indifferent wife. She treated him like a roommate that she liked well enough. He was starved for someone to please. He was unable to please his wife, because she never noticed him. So I agreed to let him please me.
That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. He worked so hard to please me, and please me he did. He did tell me that my instinct, which was to be so happy and grateful to him for pleasing me that I simply wanted to love him up and let him off the hook, so to speak, was not conducive to his development. I should never thank him. I should just appreciate what he does for me. I should also share ways he can improve what he does for me. More appreciation, less gratitude. That was hard for me to learn, but I am learning it. (Practicing on my husband.)
After all, being adored, worshiped and pleased by men was my due as a woman. And his pleasure was to create my pleasure and for me to accept the offering of his submission. So I did. He will always be my dear, dear friend, my mentor, and my votary. Don't see him much nowadays. He has found a nice lady in real life that he can please in all ways. He's happy. She's happy, I bet. And I am happy for the lessons my Teddie-bear taught me.