Now reading Sader-Masoch's "Venus in Furs." It is free on Amazaon Kindle. But what struck me right away, is this passage:
"Man is the one who desires, woman the one who is desired. This is woman's entire but decisive advantage. Through his passion nature has given man into woman's hands, and the woman who does not know how to make him her subject, her slave, her toy, and how to betray him with a smile in the end is not wise."
"The more devoted a woman shows herself, the sooner the man sobers down and becomes domineering. The more cruelly she treats him and the more faithless she is, the worse she uses him, the more wantonly she plays with him, the less pity she shows him, by so much the more will she increase his desire, be loved, worshipped by him. So it has always been, since the time of Helen and Delilah, down to Catherine the Second and Lola Montez."
This has the ring of absolute truth to me, and it is something we women know instinctively. The sad part is that when we fall in love for the first time (or the fiftieth) we tend to forget this. And we should always remember it.